Israel Will be Renamed to Palestine to Bring Peace

My fellow blogger just posted this on his blog this morning.  Apparently Netanyahu has agreed to rename Israel to Palestine in order to bring peace with the Arab world.  Here’s the full article:

Netanyahu takes top office in Israel
BY ABRAHAM ROTHELSTEIN FEINBERG
JERUSALEM (BS/Daef News) – He spoke at a ceremony at the president’s residence formally transferring power from the departing Ehud Olmert. Netanyahu, 59, who heads the hawkish Likud Party, did address matters of war and peace in his brief statement. The ceremony came a day after parliament formally approved his coalition government.

Addressing parliament on Tuesday, Netanyahu promised to see “full peace” with the Arab and Muslim world, but he failed to explicitly endorse the idea of an independent Palestinian state — a key goal of the U.S.

“I’m tired of the atrocities both people face. I’m tired of wasting Israel’s military might on some rock-throwing boys. Israel wants peace with the Palestinians now. So in order for this to take place, I’ve decided to rename Israel to Palestine.”

In Tuesday’s speech, Netanyahu also spoke of the dangers of Islamic extremism, singling out Iran as Israel’s biggest threat and urging the world to prevent Tehran from developing nuclear weapons. “The Iranians are true adversaries rather then these amateur groups like Hamas and Hezbullah. We can give them power and they’ll just fight amongst each other since one is Sunni and one is Shia. Iran on the other hand possess nuclear weapons which gives us concern for our security.”

Olmert told Wednesday’s ceremony that he was leaving office with “pride and satisfaction” in his achievements but with regret for failing to reach key goals. Olmert resumed peace talks with the Palestinians after an eight-year lull. More than a year of direct negotiations failed to achieve any visible breakthroughs.

“I was not fortunate to fulfill my dream and achieve a real peace with our neighbors. I thought that if I took out Hamas, the Palestinians would love me, I guess I was wrong. I want to apologize to the world for making Israel look like an evil monster who terrorizes innocent people. All I wanted was peace. Seriously.” he said.

Israel’s ceremonial president, Shimon Peres, told Netanyahu that his government must also make efforts in pursuit of peace.

“An Arab initiative for regional peace has been published and I know of no better alternative than peace for the entire region. I’m also moving to NYC in my million dollar penthouse so in all honesty, I don’t really give a damn about Israel.” said Peres, a Nobel peace laureate.

The initiative, proposed by Saudi Arabia in 2002 and endorsed by the 23-member Arab League, calls for a comprehensive Mideast peace accord in exchange for an Israeli withdrawal from all lands captured in the 1967 Mideast war. Netanyahu has accepted this idea and even taken it a step further with the rename of Israel to Palestine.

“Removing Israel from the map, dictionaries and encyclopedias has already been done in much of the Muslim world but now that it will be official for the entire world makes our Jihad annulled,” Hamas leader speaking on the phone with our BS news correspondent.

Zionists set there eye on NYC

Zionists have discovered new evidence in the Torah that the Promised Land is actually not Palestine but New York City. Hundreds of thousands of Zionists have decided to make hijrah to NYC in order to establish the Jewish State in New York.

“We have erred in our research for 1000s of years trying to fight for Palestine when in reality we should be running New York City.” Rabbi Zionfeinsteinberg said speaking on Skype to our BS news correspondent.

Mayor Bloomberg, who is actually a Zionist himself said this, “It’s wonderful to find that the Torah has so much love for NYC. I invite all my Zionist Jewish friends to come on over. Mazal tov!”

The CIA, FBI, Homeland Security and US military are on high alert after the dramatic increase of Jewish residents in NYC. Department of Homeland Security head said, “We are concerned that the anti-Zionist elements may cause a backlash on the arrival of our friends from Israel.”

Obama had this to say, “It’s a time for a change in NYC.”

New Yorkers on the other hand don’t see this as a change. Malik Bryant Wade Jordan of Brooklyn had this to say “That ain’t change nigga. That’s money! More Jews means mo money. More money means more ladies. More ladies means more problems. So what I’m tryin’ to say is that more Jews means more problems. Eff the po-lice!”

Al-Qaeda cancels Jihad on Israel

Osama Bin Laden had this to say on his Twitter, “Due to the renaming of Israel to Palestine, I must cancel our Jihad on Israel. Please focus on Antarctica, we must stop Global Warming! Allah hu Akbar!”

The CIA, FBI, Homeland Security and US military are on high alert after this message appeared on twitter and was re-twitted by Al-Qaeda followers. Director of CIA said, “We are concerned for the safety of Antarctica and it’s melting process which enables the Global Warming process. This process is of great importance to the people of America. We will do anything to continue it’s process and not allow it to be stopped.”