Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen….. B-

Sorry for all the Transformers fans out there, but I seriously thought this 2nd movie wasn’t any better than the 1st one.  But I like the 1st one much better though.  It had better plot as well.  Although there were more Autobots in the 2nd one, but the movie was too damn long and I felt there were too many unnecessary scenes that should’ve been left on the editing floor.  The only smart thing that Michael Bay did in this movie was bring back Megan Fox.

Mann.. Megan Fox is like the epitome of female HOTness.  She’s like a Greek goddess when compared with normal people.  She’s like a really cool sports car that everyone would love to get their hands on and have a ride with.  She is 15 out of 10.  A summer without Megan Fox is like a summer without sunshine.  When Jessica Alba is like Taco Bell, Megan Fox is like Popeye’s crispy fried chicken (with the biscuits as well).  She’s like the black Amex with zero balance.. OK I think you should understand my fascination with Megan Fox by now.

Back to Transformers.  Here’s what I think about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen:

1. Mudflap and Skids were so effin annoying.  I mean, seriously, where the hell did they come from?  From South LA?  Southeast DC?  And the way they talk really annoys the hell out of me.  And why did the have a gold front tooth?  What are they, ‘Black Autobots’?
2. I couldn’t even tell which one is which in the fighting scenes.  Everything moves so damn fast.  All I saw was just a bunch of metals going at it and bump into each other, couldn’t even tell which one is the kneecap and which one is the head.  It’s like kling, klang, kling, klang.. Then the fight is over.
3. What’s up with the motorcyle robots??  For some odd reason they have female voice.  So if Mudflap and Skids are black Autobots, these ones are female robots?  Shouldn’t all Autobots be cars and trucks?  Not motorcycles?  I mean, that’s why they’re called AUTObots in the first place, right? *Sigh*
4. The movie was too damn long!  The first hour and forty five minutes are okay.  But then it just felt like the movie was dragging and never picked up the pace.  There were too many unecessary scenes (which I will get to them in my next bullet points) and it’s like Michael Bay didn’t even edit anything out.  He had probably thought every scene that he shot was extremely important and decided to keep everything in the movie.
5. The scene where the kitchen appliances turning into robots was sooooo unnecessary!  I wasn’t really too excited watching Shia LaBeouf running around the house, being after by a blender-turned-into-robot Decepticon while spitting fire at him at the same time.  WTH?!
6. I know McG stole one of the Autobots and put it in his Terminator Salvation movie (remember the big-ass Terminator which is as tall as the Liberty Statue and picking up humans like King Kong), so Bay decided to put a female Terminator as the hot girl on campus and her mission is to hook up with Shia LaBeouf?!  WTF!  Why on Earth did he decide to put a female Terminator-lookin’ robot in a Transformers movie?!  Isn’t a Transformers movie supposed to be all Transformers, Autobots, and Decepticons?  I didn’t even know it was a robot until a huge robotic tail coming out of her blue thin panties when she was in bed with Shia.  I was like, WHOA! What the fu*k is that?!  A FEMALE TERMINATOR?!?!
7. Michael Bay didn’t even let the Audi Decepticon transform!  I was so excited when seeing the new Audi R8 in the movie, but before it had a chance to transform, some Autobot jumped over it and split it in half with its super shiny Transformer sword… Pfffttt come on Bay, you could’ve at least given it a chance to transform before you let them kill it!
8. A robot with a cane?!  Come ooon, Bay.  The robot was so old, so it was hiding in the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.  When it was revived (with the magic Transformer stone – which I don’t even know what it’s called), it transformed into a robot with a freakin WALKING CANE?!  I think the robot had metal lookin’ beard as well…..

OK I think this should be enough for tonight.  I could go on and on talking about this movie, but I think those points above should make you think twice about whether to see it in the theatre or wait until it comes out in DVD.  I honestly was going to give it a C, but then I thought about Megan Fox and how lovely she looked in the movie (SO HOT!), so I decided to give it a B-.

Haceem’s Movie Rating: 3 out of 5