Posts from — July 2009

Since I recently posted a screenshot of Satan’s Facebook profile on my blog, I figured I should post a screenshot of God’s Facebook profile as well.  Good thing is I’m already on his friends list, but I’m hoping he would someday grant my wish to be on his Top Friends list…

Who the hell searched for this in Google?!?  Hahahahaaaaaaa….

This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen!  Hahahahaaaa…  Apparently Satan himself has a profile on Facebook..  I wonder if he’s actually friends with God.

Click on the image to see the bigger version of the image.

For those of you who aren’t economic major in college, I’m giving you a few examples of the economic theories/models so you can be a bit familiar with the theories.  Let’s just use cows and milk as an example so it will be easier for you to understand.

SOCIALISM
You have two cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have two cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you..
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

NEO-LIBERALISM
You have two cows.
Cows price and milks drops since too many cows in the market.
You become bankrupt.

And finally last but not least…

KERAKYATAN
You have two cows from the State.
The State gives everybody cows for free.
The State goes bankrupt.

Hahahahha… Uhm no it’s not funny.. Uhmmm…..

This is hilarious..  Someone compiled these lists of things what women want in men.  As women get older, the lists get revised.  See below and let me know if it really applies to you hahahhaaa…

WHAT A WOMAN WANT IN A MAN

(Original List)

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative and romantic lover

(Revised list – age 36)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors and hold chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Wants to talk to me
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Has at least one shirt with the arms cut out
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Loves to go for drives
10. Seeks romance at least 3 times a week

(Revised list – age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady-splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

(Revised list – age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

(Revised list – age 62)

1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

(Revised list  – age 72)

1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet