Category — All About Movies

Honestly, whether he’s a drug addict in Cop Out, the nice guy in Role Models, a supermarket assistant manager in The Promotion, etc…to me he is always Stifler a.k.a. the Stiff Master.

…You only have two options, Answer and Answer!

I saw this chart on Cracked.com and being as a huge fan of Steven Seagal, I felt like I needed to share this with you guys.  I’ve been watching Steven Seagal’s movies since I was probably 10.  Starting from his major epics (Above the Law, On a Deadly Ground, Out For Justice, etc) all the way to his straight-to-DVD Blockbusters (Mercenary For Justice, Kill Switch, etc).  Yes, it’s true – he never dies in his movies.  Even though he’s been shot at multiple times and beaten to almost-near death, somehow he would still manage to come out of it alive and end up killing everyone.  Actually, let me take it back..  I think he did die once, in Executive Decisions (with Kurt Russel and John Leguizamo).  He was only a guest-star, thus only spent total 10 minutes in the movie.  Rumor said he wasn’t aware that he was supposed to die in the movie, he got so upset he wouldn’t leave his trailer hahahha..  It took the producers hours to convince him that he WAS supposed to die in the movie because that’s what it SAID in the script.  I believe he asked for the script to be rewritten,but they said it was IMPOSSIBLE for the script to be rewritten because it would change the entire plot..  Hahahahhaa..  Poor Steven.  He’s just so not used to being dead in his movies.

Anyways, this image below shows you how (supposedly) Steven Seagal makes a movie.  Enjoy it!  Click on the image to view the larger version.

This is so effin’ stupid..  HAHAHAHA…  Avatar role playing??  HAHAHAHA..  That black dude looks so freakin’ ridiculous painted blue and still has his afro.

What the hell is that white thingy they’re using to re-create the Tree of Life?  Wait..  Is that toilet paper??

Look, I have nothing against Matthew McConaughey.  I really enjoy watching most of his movies (not all of them though since 50% of them are chick flicks), and I honestly think he’s a decent actor – but not really a great actor because he always seems to play himself in all his movies.

So someone in Hollywood (rumor says it’s one of the executives for a major motion picture studio) has contacted Cracked.com and sent them a list of future movies of Matthew McConaughey’s that are going to be released in the next couple of years.   Yup, apparently McConaughey is considered one of the busiest movie stars in Hollywood (right behind Nicholas Cage) – busy making crap after crap after crap, and I’m sure there are people out there who would be thrilled knowing that during this recession time McConaughey still continues making his epics to keep us all entertained.

This one is just plain wrong:

After reading all the reviews and hearing all the talk about I Love You, Man, I’ve finally decided to get it from Netflix.

The movie started slow and the first few minutes I wasn’t really convinced the movie was gonna live up to its hype; however, next thing I knew I couldn’t take my eyes off of the TV screen and was laughing my ass off every minute. I honestly thought there were some parts of the movie that were kinda close to reality, and there were also some stuff that guys actually say in real life. Check out some of these memorable quotes below:

Sydney Fife: [Nonchalantly] This is where I jerk-off.

Sydney Fife: This is the man cave, there’s no women allowed in here. I got a jerk-off station for God’s sake.

Sydney Fife: Peter, I am a man. I have an ocean of testosterone flowing through my veins.

Peter Klaven: She was very nice looking.
Sydney Fife: Yeah… I fucked her.

Peter Klaven: Do you need a plastic bag, or…
Sydney Fife: Oh no. I don’t clean up after my dog.

Peter Klaven: So what do I do? How do I make friends?
Robbie Klaven: If you see a cool looking guy, strike up a conversation and ask him on a man date.
Peter Klaven: OK.

Peter Klaven: I need to get some fucking friends.

Basically the movie is about the journey of one guy – named Peter Klaven – trying to find a “guy friend/buddy/best friend.” Peter has always been known as the girlfriend-type of guy (which means he’s 24/7 committed to his girlfriend; thus, doesn’t have any guy friends). He is so desperate to find a best friend, he is willing to do whatever it takes to get one – even allowing his mom to set him up with some random guy for a “man date.”

The movie clearly explores marriage, male bonding (a.k.a bromance), and the importance of friends. It is very heart-warming and I definitely recommend it to you all the boys to watch it. By the way, when I said “bromance,” I definitely wasn’t implying anything homosexual. If you don’t know what bromance is, there are a few terms that might help you understand it a little better:

1. A non-sexual, healthy yet complicated love and affection shared by two straight guys
2. A close relationship between two straight guys to the point where they look like a couple
3. The intense love shared between heterosexual males; it’s usually male bonding and invisible to the naked eye (this bond is normally only shared between two males that have a deeper understanding of each other, in a way no woman could ever realize) — Thanks to Urban Dictionary for this description which I think is very accurate
4. Man crush (but with no sex involved)

After understanding this “bromance” concept, I’ve finally come to the realization that there has been a lot of bromance going on amongst my buddies – which I hadn’t really noticed before. In fact, I once have had some bromance moment with one of my best friends as well. So without further ado, I’d like to mention a few people here whom I think are really embracing bromance and are even willing to kick it up a notch:

• Multi Nasution and Rizky Arbali
  They were the epitome of bromance. I think they were the first bromance that I had ever witnessed before. They were roommates in college, they would cook together, go shopping together (even go to the same stores), share closet space, hang out on weekends, dress alike, etc. I mean they both were straight like an arrow, but damn.. They definitely took bromance to the next level.
  Bromance Level: Pretty high.. Higher than the Statue of Liberty

• Ping Aje and Hendra DJ
  They don’t dress alike, they don’t look alike, and they certainly don’t smell alike, but they’re inseparable like the siamese twins. In fact, one time I played poker with them and when Hendra lost his chips, Ping would kindly take half of his own stack and share it with Hendra. I mean whoaa.. That is definitely some serious bromance.
  Bromance Level: Somewhat high.. Can be higher on Poker night

• Ricky Posumah and Joshua (a.k.a. Enno)
  Even though everyone knows there’s some serious bromance tension between them, but both of them wouldn’t admit it. Well I think Joshua would. They both grew up in the same area back home (Surabaya – the capital of East Java), so obviously they speak Javanese pretty fluently. Sometimes when they speak Javanese to each other, none of us would understand all the things that come out of their mouth. It’s like they’re speaking greek. They go clubbing together, hang out every weekend, go culinary trip around Washington, DC together, etc and they always watch each other’s back. There’s definitely some bromance between them whether they want to admit it or not.
  Bromance Level: Sometimes high, sometimes low.. Depending on Ricky’s mood swing

• Myself and Reza Kadir
  Hahaha as I said before, I once experienced some bromance when I went home (to Jakarta) a while ago. I’d like to call it a bond of mutual respect towards each other and a deep understanding of each of our essential manliness. It was bromance with style.
  Bromance Level: High, but not too high, but can be higher after 2-3 drinks

• Melvin Andrew and Remy Hendra
  Ahh these two guys.. They’re like a fork and a knife, a pencil and an eraser, a piece of paper and a paper clip, a deck of card and poker chips, a BlackBerry and the BlackBerry Messenger, Thomson and Thompson, etc.. They always stick together no matter what. Aside from them being real siblings (Melvin is the older one), they really embrace bromance and take the brotherly love to the highest degree.
  Bromance Level: Like an ocean tide.. Low during the day, high at night
  

• Myself, Yala Mahendra, Farid Tirtosudiro, and Agung Adhitama
  Years ago we took a bromance trip to Bandung, stayed at Yala’s humble abode, and ended up watching lots of uhm “the birds and the bees” educational videos (thanks to Vivid Production for making all those epics, we truly learned a lot). It was definitely a bromance trip to remember.. Good times, boys. I’d probably put you guys in my will.
  Bromance Level: Kinda low but still strong.. Like the Incredible Hulk strong

• Fajar Simamora and Peter Pangaribuan
  Back in grad school, they had love and hate relationship. They would constantly tease each other and sometimes they could be very mean towards each other, too. However, I believed they did that out of love and respect. I sensed their bromance level was getting higher and higher every time they met. Although they never showed it in public, but behind closed doors, I’d imagine Fajar pat Pete’s back and said “Come on brotha.. You can do it. You can definitely tackle this exam tomorrow. I believe in you.”
  Bromance Level: All time high only when behind closed doors

• Adyatama and Melvin Andrew
  Melvin had his own key to Ady’s apartment. Enough said.
  Bromance Level: It was reaaaaallll high.. But got lowered after Ady moved back to Indo and got married

Haceem’s Movie Rating: 5 out of 5