Category — All About Movies

Sorry for all the Transformers fans out there, but I seriously thought this 2nd movie wasn’t any better than the 1st one.  But I like the 1st one much better though.  It had better plot as well.  Although there were more Autobots in the 2nd one, but the movie was too damn long and I felt there were too many unnecessary scenes that should’ve been left on the editing floor.  The only smart thing that Michael Bay did in this movie was bring back Megan Fox.

Mann.. Megan Fox is like the epitome of female HOTness.  She’s like a Greek goddess when compared with normal people.  She’s like a really cool sports car that everyone would love to get their hands on and have a ride with.  She is 15 out of 10.  A summer without Megan Fox is like a summer without sunshine.  When Jessica Alba is like Taco Bell, Megan Fox is like Popeye’s crispy fried chicken (with the biscuits as well).  She’s like the black Amex with zero balance.. OK I think you should understand my fascination with Megan Fox by now.

Back to Transformers.  Here’s what I think about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen:

1. Mudflap and Skids were so effin annoying.  I mean, seriously, where the hell did they come from?  From South LA?  Southeast DC?  And the way they talk really annoys the hell out of me.  And why did the have a gold front tooth?  What are they, ‘Black Autobots’?
2. I couldn’t even tell which one is which in the fighting scenes.  Everything moves so damn fast.  All I saw was just a bunch of metals going at it and bump into each other, couldn’t even tell which one is the kneecap and which one is the head.  It’s like kling, klang, kling, klang.. Then the fight is over.
3. What’s up with the motorcyle robots??  For some odd reason they have female voice.  So if Mudflap and Skids are black Autobots, these ones are female robots?  Shouldn’t all Autobots be cars and trucks?  Not motorcycles?  I mean, that’s why they’re called AUTObots in the first place, right? *Sigh*
4. The movie was too damn long!  The first hour and forty five minutes are okay.  But then it just felt like the movie was dragging and never picked up the pace.  There were too many unecessary scenes (which I will get to them in my next bullet points) and it’s like Michael Bay didn’t even edit anything out.  He had probably thought every scene that he shot was extremely important and decided to keep everything in the movie.
5. The scene where the kitchen appliances turning into robots was sooooo unnecessary!  I wasn’t really too excited watching Shia LaBeouf running around the house, being after by a blender-turned-into-robot Decepticon while spitting fire at him at the same time.  WTH?!
6. I know McG stole one of the Autobots and put it in his Terminator Salvation movie (remember the big-ass Terminator which is as tall as the Liberty Statue and picking up humans like King Kong), so Bay decided to put a female Terminator as the hot girl on campus and her mission is to hook up with Shia LaBeouf?!  WTF!  Why on Earth did he decide to put a female Terminator-lookin’ robot in a Transformers movie?!  Isn’t a Transformers movie supposed to be all Transformers, Autobots, and Decepticons?  I didn’t even know it was a robot until a huge robotic tail coming out of her blue thin panties when she was in bed with Shia.  I was like, WHOA! What the fu*k is that?!  A FEMALE TERMINATOR?!?!
7. Michael Bay didn’t even let the Audi Decepticon transform!  I was so excited when seeing the new Audi R8 in the movie, but before it had a chance to transform, some Autobot jumped over it and split it in half with its super shiny Transformer sword… Pfffttt come on Bay, you could’ve at least given it a chance to transform before you let them kill it!
8. A robot with a cane?!  Come ooon, Bay.  The robot was so old, so it was hiding in the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.  When it was revived (with the magic Transformer stone – which I don’t even know what it’s called), it transformed into a robot with a freakin WALKING CANE?!  I think the robot had metal lookin’ beard as well…..

OK I think this should be enough for tonight.  I could go on and on talking about this movie, but I think those points above should make you think twice about whether to see it in the theatre or wait until it comes out in DVD.  I honestly was going to give it a C, but then I thought about Megan Fox and how lovely she looked in the movie (SO HOT!), so I decided to give it a B-.

Haceem’s Movie Rating: 3 out of 5

I was going to give it a C, but since I like Christian Bale, I’d give it a C+.  The movie was so so, could’ve been better though.  I think they revealed too much on the trailer so when I walked into the theater, I already knew 1/3rd of the storyline and how Marcus didn’t know he was revived only to find out he was a cyborg (if they hadn’t shown this part on the trailer, this could’ve been the movie twist).

But I have to admit, I loved the action scenes, especially the scene where the terminator motorcycles were going after them, I thought it was pretty cool.  Honestly, I was hoping to see the apocalyptic war between humans and the terminators; However, McG decided to skip the hell out of it and moved on to the next part where they had to find Kyle Reese and saved him… Pfffttttttt booooooorringggg!

Definitely a C+.

One more thing, that huge freakin robot (you might have seen it on the trailer) really reminded me of one of the autobots from the Transformers.  I wonder if Michael Bay was upset thinking McG had stolen his robots.

Haceem’s Movie Rating: 3 out of 5

My buddy convinced me to see Sex Drive because (he said) it’s R rated, shows a lot of t*ts, and funny as hell.  I knew it wasn’t really right up my alley (haha yeah right!), but I figured I might as well give it a shot since I had been pretty dissappointed with my recent choices of movies lately (i.e. Fast & Furious – pppffftttt!) and I needed to watch something funny and entertaining.

So I ended up getting the unrated version from Netflix. After 1 hour and 48 minutes watching it, these are what I’d like to say about the movies (spoiler alert!!):

• Seth Green was HILLARIOUS!  He was playing as a sardonic Amish farmer who supposedly had been to “the  other side of the world” (for Rumspringer – it’s basically an Amish tradition when one can go wild once a year) and did a lot of wild things  (i.e. yeah, I went to Vegas and did a lot of buttf**king).  Hahahahaa… He was just AWESOME and stole the scenes when on screen.  I couldn’t really stop cracking up everytime he showed up on screen hahahaaaa…
• Too many flashes of shaved black dongs!  I mean seriously, waaayy too many!  And they would show up on screen unexpectedly.  I mean, come on now!  No wonder my buddy really liked this movie.  Hmmmm.. I guess that really explains his big-ass Elton John poster on his wall and his rainbow bumper sticker…..
• James Marsden (for those of you who don’t know, he’s the guy who plays Cyclops in X-Men) was funny as hell!  He was playing as the older brother who was big time bully, kinda redneck, and drove a classic car.  It turns out the reason behind him being a big bully to his brother was to hide the fact that he’s a big-time GAY..
• If you happen to be under 18 and (obviously) going through puberty, you’ll love this movie since it shows a bunch of naked girls every 10 minutes.  Seriously though, for me – the first half hour was okay, but after that I was a little bit annoyed because these girls would just pop out of nowhere!  Like, they were at the gas station, filling up the car and all of sudden this naked girl showed up out of nowhere and walked by them.  I was like WTH?!  That was waayyy too random for me!  I mean to be honest, I don’t mind seeing movies with a lot of naked girls in them – BUT only when they show up in appropriate places, like in the bedroom, backseat of a car (in the middle of nowhere), a motel room, unattended swimming pool (at night and only lit by moonlight), beaches (ANY beaches), kitchen, the parents’ bedroom, bathroom, walk-in closet, and last but not least, under someone’s desk.
• I loooved the donut costume!  I wonder where I can get that for Halloween..

Haceem’s Movie Rating: 3 out of 5

I honestly thought this movie was gonna be awesome. I saw the trailer a few times, and I thought hey this one looked pretty entertaining. I decided to watch it and… I thought it was one of the worst movies ever!

First of all, Nicholas Cage looks like he’s wearing toupee. A really really bad toupee. I mean, when you’re getting bald, you might as well shave your head off like Bruce Willis in Die Hard 3. But then again, if Nicholas Cage had shaved his head off, I don’t think I would’ve even considered watching this movie. Seeing a bald Nicholas Cage running around town trying to decipher the numbers isn’t really my idea of entertainment.

Second, the movie is about ALIENS! Freakin aliens who are looking for the next Adam and Eve! Apparently Earth is on the verge of destruction and the aliens are trying to choose a boy and a girl whom they’re going to save and take to another planet (that looks like Earth, but has 2 moons and orange grass.. yeah seriously, its grass is orange) so the human civilization doesn’t become extinct and can start over. I don’t even understand why they still wanted to make a movie out out it – assuming they read the storyline and the movie script beforehand.

My advice, save your $10, go home and watch the Discovery Channel.

Haceem’s Movie Rating: 2 out of 5