Category — Nerd Jokes

Looks like it’s a bit hot today in Mordor…..with no chance of precipitation whatsoever.  I guess I better bring my speedo and sunblock.  I’ll tell Frodo to pick up the ring tomorrow.

I swear this is the most messed-up kiss I’ve ever seen in my life.

They look like they’re about to eat each other alive.  My goodness….If I hadn’t known this was TLC’s new show, The Virgin Diaries, I would’ve thought this was a documentary show about zombies since that guy looks straight up like a zombie…LOL!

So there’s this guy who happens to be a good friend of mine, let’s just call him John, dating this one girl for the past couple of months. Sally, let’s just call her that, is a sweet girl, pretty, very friendly and has got all the best personalities every guy wants in a girl. Unfortunately for Sally, John isn’t really so much into her. She’s just not his type. He looks at Sally as more like mmm.. F buddy (if you know what I mean). He’s been hinting her, telling her indirectly that they’re not really meant to be together. Poor girl just doesn’t get it.

Anyways, one night John came by my apartment and told me he just messed something up. But it didn’t really look like he had any regrets about it, he was laughing and said not sure how he was going to be able to come out alive from this one.  So this is how the conversation went between me and John:

John: “Mann…I messed up! I think she’s gonna be mad at me!”

Me: “Huh? What do you mean?”

John: “Well, I got a call from Sam (his other friend), asking me to hang out with him tonight. But I was having dinner with this chick whom I met through this dating site and she’s really ugly man! So I txt’ed Sam back, telling him I’d have to get rid of this chick first before I meet him tonight.”

Me: “Uhm OK. So you were having dinner with another girl..and where’s Sally?”

John: “Sally’s busy. Anyways, when I txt’ed Sam back, I just realized I txt’ed the wrong person! I didn’t txt Sam…I txt’ed Sally instead!”

He then proceeded to show me his text message.

I swear when I read it, I had never laughed sooo hard in my life. I literally burst out laughing and completely in tears. So did he.

This is way too funny!

I guess as long as you are under 300 lbs, then you’ll definitely be qualified for his date.  Oh and also, you have to master the art of dirty dancing and be willing to do some “stuff” after the prom.  I hope it’s PG-13 stuff.

What would happen if Apple made water?  Click on the image to view the larger version.  I wonder if anyone would want to buy Apple Optional Ingestion Vessel…

Boy I just realized I haven’t posted anything on this blog for almost 6 months!  I figured it was about time for me to post something funny to entertain you all my fine readers.. If there are any.. Hiks..

If you’re a big fan of Harry Potter and you’re also a big fan of “Yo Momma” jokes, you’ll definitely find this Facebook conversation below hilarious.. Hahahha.. I seriously couldn’t stop laughing when I read it.