Go Haceem! » Nerd Jokes

Who the Hell Buys All These Stuff?

Haceem — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 18:04:36 +0000

I wonder what they were thinking when they were brainstorming and trying to come up with ideas to invent all these stuff. Seriously. Maybe it’s a weird mix of genius + alcohol + pot? These just look so ridiculous and honestly, I don’t think anyone in their right mind would ever buy these stuff.

Baby Toupee

I can’t really think of a single reason to get this thing for my kid (if I had one). Do I seriously want to have my kid look like Donald Trump or Samuel L. Jackson? I don’t get it. Perhaps for Halloween? I have a two-year old nephew and I know if I ever put this thing on his head, his mom would kill me for sure. Or maybe not.

To Do Tattoo

OK so you want to go green and save the trees, right? That’s your intention to write stuff on your palm instead of a piece of paper? I can’t believe they actually called this “the perfect solution for your shoddy short-term memory.” Terrible idea.

Wine Glass Holder Necklace

This just looks so retarded. And if I ever see you wearing this thing around your neck, that means you are officially a retard.

Spaghetti Twirler

Are you kidding me?

Tandem Toilet

Okay I get it. You are inseparable with your bff/spouse and a minute away from each other may cause separation anxiety between you too. So in case if both of you would have to go to the bathroom at the same time, then Tandem Toilet is the answer. It’s perfectly understandable. Both of you can do your business while still spending some quality time together.

DVD Rewinder

I’m still trying to figure out if I ever need this rewinder. Maybe in another lifetime.

Lap Pillow

I assume this is invented for lonely guys out there? I hope they’re not using this picture in their marketing collateral because if you’re as old as that dude in the picture and still single, that’s just downright sad.

Flatulence Deodorizer

Now this is pretty cool. As long as you have this on, then you don’t have to worry about farting 24/7 because you can fart as much as you want and nobody will notice it. If only this comes in plumeria or cucumber melon.

Jedi Mind Tricks

Haceem — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 17:03:05 +0000

So I have watched all Star Wars movies – from Episode 1 to Episode 6, but for some reason I’m still not a big fan. I just can’t get myself excited seeing all the robots, funny lookin’ aliens and humans fighting one another, watching how the fighter jets/ships playing hide and seek amongst the meteorites, how one guy gets cloned for 1092078465 times so they can build an army out of his clones and some other crap.

However, one thing that really excites me is Jedi Mind Tricks. Wouldn’t it be awesome though, if you have Jedi Mind Tricks and you practice it amongst your friends/families/coworkers? Sometimes I wish I possessed Jedi Mind Tricks so if someone pisses me off, I can make him crap in his pants instantly.

Happy New Year!!

Haceem — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 06:32:08 +0000

Aaahh new year… It’s a new beginning with new sets of resolutions, goals, lists of things that you’d to accomplish in the upcoming months, etc. How long do you honestly think you will follow your new year’s resolutions? In my case, well not so much since I have developed a tendency to forgo my new year’s resolutions a week later and sort of postpone them until the next new year comes rolling in hahahahaaa..

Legend:

Chances you never actually made a resolution
Time spent working out
Likelihood you’re lying to yourself and your friends
Difficulty of resolution
Quality of life
Secret chili recipes created
Likelihood your resolution involved being couch potato, eating nachos and playing Madden, you fat f*ck!

Star Wars Facebook Status Updates

Haceem — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:02:05 +0000

If you’re a huge fan of Star Wars’, you’ll definitely find these Facebook status updates hilarious. I had to give College Humor huge props for creating these which I thought was very creative hahhahaa… Personally, I’m not really a big fan of Star Wars’, but I did watch all 6 movies because I wanted to see what the big fuss was all about. Up to this day I still wonder what would have happened if Van Damme had played as Han Solo in the Star Wars series.

What Not to Ask Batman This Time of Year

Haceem — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:54:17 +0000

New Professors on RateMyProfessors.com

Haceem — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:38:29 +0000

Hahaha this is pretty hilarious.. Especially if you’re really into comic stuff. I found these when I was browsing on College Humor and thought I’d want to share these with you.