'Life is nothing but a fart in the breeze, until you follow your fart and see where it goes'

When you like a girl, please do not take too long to make a move.  If you take too much time or think too much, next thing you know you will end up like this loser in the picture below.

That is straight-up Friend Zone level 99, son!

That is “Happy New Year” in Mandarin in case if you do not understand it. I know I don’t. That is why I had to google it first.

So My roommate and I were in the middle of watching a movie (it was I Spit on Your Grave), when all of sudden his Chinese girlfriend came out to the living room and looked very upset.

He was like, what is wrong, sweetie?

She said, I do not want to watch this movie!

He said, owwkay…so what do you want to watch huh?  You want to watch a Chinese movie?  Okay let’s watch a Chinese movie..with subtitles, okay?  He proceeded to grab the remote, paused the movie, and switched the channel to the computer channel (we call it the computer channel because we have a computer hooked up to the TV and it is assigned to a specific TV channel. It allows us to watch any YouTube videos, Indonesian TV shows or some legally – I repeat, legally – downloaded movies on TV).

She’s like, no I do not want to watch any movies.  I want to watch Chinese shows.  It is Chinese New Year, okay!  I only want to watch it for an hour.  I always follow you, now it is your turn to follow me!

Believe it or not, my roommate just gave in and let her watch her Chinese TV show.  So basically, we went from watching a unbelievably hot girl running around the woods butt-naked while being chased by a group of rednecks..to watching some Chinese people doing some magic shows on TV, celebrating Chinese New Year.

Mean while, I was just sitting there and had no clue whatsoever how I should respond.

I guess that is what some people call…LOVE.  Xin Nian Kuai Le!

There is a reason why I always look forward to going to ZoukOut every year. To those who have never been to ZoukOut, I decided to put together a video showing pictures + videos that I managed to capture while I was there – in the midst of music blasting from huge-ass speakers everywhere, people screaming + singing + shouting in my ears at the same time, lots of sweaty butt-nekked people dancing, drunken teenagers bumping into me, etc. Yes, that is what ZoukOut is like…and yet, it was one helluva beach party. So much FUN!

However, if you have never been to ZoukOut and you have always wanted to go but somehow your dear husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend is not really into “that-kind-of-music”, well this video is a good presentation of what you have been missing all this time. Some of you probably want to go there (even just for once) just so you can at least tell all your friends that you “have been there.” But others are probably not made for this – so if you are not up for it, do not even kid yourself about going there.

Wow…I’m not sure if I would ever allow my kids cross the bridge like this.  This is just plain bad-ass!  This picture has been circulating on Facebook the past couple of days.  Word on the street says this is an actual bridge, which is located a couple of hours away from Jakarta.  Every day all these kids would cross this bridge in order to get to their school – which happens to be on the opposite side of the river.

This picture just kills me.  In the midst of people spending ludicrous amount of money buying stupid things and government wasting billions of rupiahs of taxpayer’s money for renovating stupid bathrooms or installing room fragrance at the parlement building, there are still people out there struggling to cross the broken bridge in order to go to school.  This is something they have to go through each day, every morning for God-knows how long it’s going to last until the government decides to rebuild the bridge.

Unbelievable.

Who is this chick again? Shinta Bachir? Pardon my ignorance, but could someone please tell me why all of sudden I see her name all over the news? Whoever her publicist is, he/she has done an amazing job for this girl.

From her look, OK I have to admit, she doesn’t look that bad at all. But judging from the list of movies that she’s been in: “Die Young in the Arms of Divorcee” (2011), “You Can See, but Cannot Touch” (2010), and the last one is “Ghost Island 3″ (2011), I’m not sure if she’s the brightest bulb in the house.

So now all of sudden, she’s going around telling everyone that the former Head of Jakarta Police Department has been threatening to kill her.  Come on, kiddo.  You really didn’t see that coming?  Of course if you want to play with the big boys, you’ve got to be ready what would potentially come towards you in the end.  I’m pretty sure he already had a family when you agreed to be his “secret gurrlfriend.”  Next time, please be smart.  Judging your movie selections, obviously you are kinda an airhead (who the f wants to see a movie entitled “Die Young in the Arms of Divorcee”).  At least please be smart with whomever you want to be with.

There’s a good reason why I always try avoid reading news about my homeland country. Why? Well, I never see any positive outcomes from it. For instance, a few minutes ago I read about this father and daughter duo stealing laptops from college students (read: http://us.detiknews.com/read/2012/01/20/202702/1821577/10/ayah-dan-anak-gadisnya-curi-puluhan-laptop-mahasiwa-di-depok?9911012).

Look “dad”, I totally get it. The economy is hard, life is complicated, and you need to feed your family. But teaching your 22-year-old to steal? How about teaching her how to work hard to earn a living huh? You work hard, then you’ll get rewarded. You’ll work harder, then you’ll double your reward. What’s so hard about it?

Unbelievable.