'Life is nothing but a fart in the breeze, until you follow your fart and see where it goes'

Should you or should you not get a tattoo?

I wonder what they were thinking when they were brainstorming and trying to come up with ideas to invent all these stuff.  Seriously.  Maybe it’s a weird mix of genius + alcohol + pot?  These just look so ridiculous and honestly, I don’t think anyone in their right mind would ever buy these stuff.

Baby Toupee

I can’t really think of a single reason to get this thing for my kid (if I had one).  Do I seriously want to have my kid look like Donald Trump or Samuel L. Jackson?  I don’t get it.  Perhaps for Halloween?  I have a two-year old nephew and I know if I ever put this thing on his head, his mom would kill me for sure.  Or maybe not.

To Do Tattoo

OK so you want to go green and save the trees, right?  That’s your intention to write stuff on your palm instead of a piece of paper?  I can’t believe they actually called this “the perfect solution for your shoddy short-term memory.”  Terrible idea.

Wine Glass Holder Necklace

This just looks so retarded.  And if I ever see you wearing this thing around your neck, that means you are officially a retard.

Spaghetti Twirler

Are you kidding me?

Tandem Toilet

Okay I get it.  You are inseparable with your bff/spouse and a minute away from each other may cause separation anxiety between you too.  So in case if both of you would have to go to the bathroom at the same time, then Tandem Toilet is the answer.  It’s perfectly understandable.  Both of you can do your business while still spending some quality time together.

DVD Rewinder

I’m still trying to figure out if I ever need this rewinder.  Maybe in another lifetime.

Lap Pillow

I assume this is invented for lonely guys out there?  I hope they’re not using this picture in their marketing collateral because if you’re as old as that dude in the picture and still single, that’s just downright sad.

Flatulence Deodorizer

Now this is pretty cool.  As long as you have this on, then you don’t have to worry about farting 24/7 because you can fart as much as you want and nobody will notice it.  If only this comes in plumeria or cucumber melon.

Should you get an iPad?  Well to me, iPad kinda looks like a giant iPod and it doesn’t even come with a camera, so why should I even bother to get one?  Besides, it’s mad expensive ($600 a pop).  If you’re not sure whether you should get one or not, you should follow this flowchart (thanks to Holy Taco!) to determine if you should get one.

So I have watched all Star Wars movies – from Episode 1 to Episode 6, but for some reason I’m still not a big fan.  I just can’t get myself excited seeing all the robots, funny lookin’ aliens and humans fighting one another, watching how the fighter jets/ships playing hide and seek amongst the meteorites,  how one guy gets cloned for 1092078465 times so they can build an army out of his clones and some other crap.

However, one thing that really excites me is Jedi Mind Tricks.  Wouldn’t it be awesome though, if you have Jedi Mind Tricks and you practice it amongst your friends/families/coworkers?  Sometimes I wish I possessed Jedi Mind Tricks so if someone pisses me off, I can make him crap in his pants instantly.

This is a picture of what a speech looks like after being revised by Obama himself.  Damn..  I wonder what my English papers would’ve looked like if Obama were my English teacher.

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Me: “Hey how you doin?”
Him: “Nothin much..  Just walking my pet around the neighborhood”

Click on the image to view the larger version.